Brook was run out on 12 ©Getty “Probably”, Eoin Morgan said on commentary, Harry Brook had suffered a “brain explosion”. Happily, not in a physical sense. In cricket terms, without a doubt. Nothing about it was “probably”. Brook wanted two from the moment Jamie Smith politely drove Wiaan Mulder through the covers in the 14th over of the first ODI at Headingley on Tuesday. Smith wasn’t convinced a second run was possible, and sent his captain back. Out in the deep, the onrushing Tristan Stubbs sussed out the situation snappily and fired a pinpoint throw to the correct end – where Ryan Rickelton had the bails off smartly with Brook nowhere near safety. That was the first of 64 deliveries that earned eight wickets for 49 runs. England shambled into several more calamities on their way to being binned for 131 in 27 deliveries more than it would have taken to bowl a T20 innings. Aiden Markram showed them how they should have played in a breathtaking innings of 86 off 55 that was as elegant as it was powerful. South Africa didn’t need much more to win by seven wickets with 125 balls to spare. The visitors bowled and caught like champions, but they were helped by opponents who batted like chumps. It wasn’t so much bazball as bulls**tball as, metaphorically, brains exploded all over the batting crease. Smith’s composed, measured 54 off 48 was the lonely exception. Nobody else made more than Jos Buttler’s 15. Keshav Maharaj was at his cold fury best to take 4/22 in 5.3 overs. Mulder’s 3/33 was proof that his tweaked action was working. Lungi Ngidi produced a pearler of an outswinger that Joe Root duly edged and an expansively diving Ryan Rickelton juggled and held at the second attempt. Corbin Bosch, at fine leg, chased down and took a stunning over-the-shoulder catch that removed Smith. Markram held a stinger at first slip to send Jacob Bethell packing, and claimed another in the same position low and to his left to end Jofra Archer’s one-ball stay. But, mostly, England batted as if they had never before strapped on a pair of pads. And that, mind, from a team who scored 400/8 and 312/7 to earn their first two wins in a 3-0 drubbing of West Indies at home in May and June, their most recent ODIs. South Africa were fresh from suffering their heaviest ODI defeat – by 276 runs to Australia in Mackay on August 24. That performance was mitigated by the fact that the result of the match was rendered irrelevant by Temba Bavuma’s team having already clinched the series. The last time Markram batted in England, at Lord’s in June, he scored a shimmering 136 to guide South Africa to triumph in the WTC final against Australia. This time, he didn’t have that many runs to play with. Accordingly, he played with palpable urgency. Maybe Markram knew a 65% chance of rain was forecast to arrive 90 minutes after South Africa’s reply started. Maybe he was in the form of his ODI life – his 11th half-century in the format, which he reached off 23 balls, was his fastest. Maybe the Sonny Baker hype was exposed for the nonsense it looks like in the wake of the fast bowler’s disastrous debut. Baker, 22, went into the match having played only 11 list A games, the last of them in August 2022. He has taken 17 wickets at an economy rate of 8.58 in 13 T20s this year, but flopped in The Hundred, where he was joint-65th among the wicket-takers and 52nd on the economy rate list. Yet the English press was agog with anticipation and expert opinion for the havoc Baker would wreak. To his own bowling figures, as it turned out. Still, there was something unfair about Baker running into Markram on a day like this. Markram hammered three boundaries in Baker’s first over, which went for 14. His next, which sailed for 20, featured another four and two sixes by Markram. Rickelton took two fours off Baker’s following over, which yielded 10 runs. Markram reeled in another three boundaries to take the damage from Baker’s first four overs to 56. Forty-five of those runs belonged to Markram. Baker, looking paler with each hammering he endured, went wicketless for 76 in seven. Pacy and plucky, he may yet develop into a bowler worthy of this level. But not if he keeps sending down loose hit-me balls like he did on Tuesday. Asked by Michael Atherton whether he had decided to target a debutant or whether the debutant in question had not been up to scratch, Markram said, “It was more [the latter]. I definitely didn’t pre-plan it.” It wouldn’t have helped Baker settle that, every time the cameras alighted on Brook’s face in the field, he was smiling apparently gormlessly. The last thing a young player being baptised by fire needs is a captain who seems, from a distance at least, to think that’s funny. Brook didn’t do himself any favours in a television interview by describing his team’s batting performance as “not ideal”. Maybe that’s the Yorkshire in him. Maybe he did want to be stood there answering questions. Maybe his brain was still exploding. Whatever. It’s a trite explanation for a shellacking. ShareTweet
